At my most vulnerable

Hey! I hope you've had a good day!
I left you just before I'd had lunch and I can't say that it would have made a difference because it wasn't too interesting a meal I have to say. After I'd finished the food and washed up like a good, tidy fresher, after having a quick relax, I decided to pass the time a bit. In order to do this, I decided to turn on the procrastinator and start up FIFA 15. After playing a few games and coming up with a few more reasons (That I won't pay any attention to) why I shouldn't play this game anymore, I decided to play a few more. I didn't have a very good run of form at all I have to say and was quite upset with how it went. But regardless, I reminded myself that I was indeed just playing a game and I calmed myself down.

 I had a late lunch and by the time I had finished playing it was getting onto 4 o'clock and in order to see each other today apart from in the rehearsal where we had to be quiet, Natasha came over and we enjoyed each other's company as she was bored as well. We watched a few YouTube videos and shared a few laughs before she went to meet her friend to walk to the rehearsal with her. I set off and as I hadn't had any dinner, I walked into a takeaway to get a portion of chips. Weirdly enough, sat down waiting for a similar order was the chairman of our musical theatre society. Seeing as this gave me even more reason to be able to get my food, I sat down with him and we talked while waiting for the food to be made before continuing the rather cold, but now less cold, walk to the rehearsal room. We actually bumped into someone else in the production of Fiddler on the Roof, who is playing Lazar Wolf and is my alcoholic FIFA 15 friend from 2 nights ago! So we walked and talked together which made it an easier walk for the 3 of us until we got there, where we started going over a few songs from the show, including one we hadn't done before! After the rehearsal, we went to the pub where we stuffed our collective faces with free pieces of garlic bread and potato wedges until the platter was empty and laughed together. I wasn't planning on drinking at any point tonight, so I just had water while I got Natasha a limited edition guava J2o. Apparently they're really nice but I think I'll stick to the Orange flavour!

Back in my room it was safe to say I had a moment. Luckily Natasha was there to help me through it but it was hard to go through and it is even harder to tell you about, but I feel that I should. It has been a few years since my Granddad's passing and there is not a day that goes by where I don't miss the man. He was truly a best friend for me and a really inspirational role model as well that I modelled myself off. I had thought of him during a conversation and I could feel myself just get really low. I'm man enough to admit that I cried. I didn't think I would but I did. The man meant a lot to me and he's gone. It's a hard reality to swallow but I think for getting through it I will be all the better. I felt at my most vulnerable but came through and although I've been hit in the past by it, I'm still going to keep fighting. Natasha was brilliant though and seemingly made me smile with the least of effort as she seems to always manage to make me do. I'm getting a little emotional as it is so I'll have to leave you for now and then go to bed. Tomorrow I have a pizza making session with Natasha and audition material to tell you about!

Thanks for your time as always

Cheers
Tim